To Be In Sync

Hearing a lot about being in-sync and not.   Come to think of it, not being in-sync must be the saddest thing in the world.  There are so many other ways of describing it too — Stars not aligned.  Not meant to be.  Clothes that are buttoned wrong (Japanese).  Either way, not being in-sync describes so much that are unrequited.  Not just romances, but missed opportunities, partnerships gone awry, misunderstandings, cross-wired….

And how people put on a strong front when it happens.  Because life must go on.

And the method people chose to move on.  Not being in-sync and moving on.  Sad plus sad.

Better Name for Chinese Restaurant: Sorry to Disappoint

The keeper of this site, WordPress, has a function that allows tracking of which of the posting is visited  most.   As this blog is currently and probably forever without any purpose, I never think there would be any following.  I gather most come accidentally, stop for nano-second and move on.  But there is a curious pattern that I never quite figured out.   Couple of years ago, I blogged about a good place to eat in HK that had a horrible English name.  I went on to say most Chinese restaurants have a decent Chinese name, but quite awful of an English name — e.g. ABC Seafood.  Whatever Province Garden.  Family Name Delight…  To date, that’s where most of the accidental blogsite visitors go to.  And the frequency of hits is sometimes amazing.  This begs the question:   Are people opening up that many Chinese chow places and are agonizing over how to name them ?

This post is kind of an apology for the disappointment those visitors might have felt when they come here.  I wish I had kind of a formula or software system that you can plug in your name, birthdate and one favorite Chinese dish and out comes the perfect name for your newly mint Chinese restaurant.

Several weeks ago, I went to two Chinese restaurants in Shanghai that served excellent dishes.  One was called Ji-Shih Wine House.  The other, Stone Tapping Hut.  One was more poetic than the other.  Both were packed.  Maybe it really doesn’t matter how you name your joint.

Closer

I wish there was a way to protect oneself.  Not to hurt or to be hurt. Recovery is taking too long.  Try not to get hit next time.

17 Hours Away

Third time in Shanghai.  Not really a city I love, but a city that has become a bit significant in my life, at least in memory.   It’s raining now, a new experience in this city, for as I remember it, I always came when the weather was nice and never by myself.  And I’m leaving tomorrow. Snowball the cat came to my room each night and kept me company.  I’m not a cat person, but I am for her.

Already, I’m feeling this post is not going to be a thoughtful one, but probably just reminiscent in nature.

This is a first stop of a trip that to me, is going to be a long one.  I cannot remember the last time I was away for this long.  When I return it will be almost May.  And I feel I need to be ready to face a new month.

Attach and Detach

A shrink asked me not too long ago, who I feel the most attached to.   I answered, my dog.  The answer might be the reason why I’m talking to a shrink as I didn’t necessarily feel good telling him that. (Hence another reason why I’m talking to the shrink) But right as this moment, as I pack for a trip, I am thinking about my dog and how I’d miss him.   Cliche’ is one, because there is so much truth to it.  Dog does give you comfort and will always be there for you.

I dread traveling.  It doesn’t matter what kind of trip it is.  Once upon a time, it wasn’t difficult, however.  Which is amazing, now that I’m thinking about it.  There was always a destination that I wanted to be at, or sense of comfort with the person I was traveling with.  It made the journey less dreadful. I’m probably never going to be at that place again.

So as I embark on a trip with distant and length of time that I haven’t for a long time, I’m hoping, perhaps it might open up a new chapter.  And if it doesn’t, when I come back, the dog will be there for me.

Lost and Found

I’ve been finding some lost items unexpectedly and in unexpected places.  It’s been unsettling, to not be able to find so many things.  And I resort to my bad habit of detaching and convincing myself that it’s not a big deal and I’ll be able to replace some of those things, if not all.   Be so it may, I know deep down that  I would never be able to replace what I had before.  I would have to be content with something perhaps similar but never what it was before.  And maybe in the same way I’m detached, I am also incapable of discarding things. Things that are useless, things that are wrong, things that really should not be taking up my space.

Ability to purge.  It really is a virtue.

One Thing that Doesn’t Require Fixing

I never thought this blog to be a Pet/Dog Blog, but oddly, pet ownership is the one thing that I feel  is going well for me right now.  I think I do it well.  I think the ROI of my effort is high.  I think the dog is happy to be owned by me.  And most of the time, if not all of the time, owning a dog makes me feel good.

Happiness really is to observe Renzei trying to find the perfect spot, curl up and then give one big sigh.  It does feel like he’s sigh-ing away all that is bad in life.    Watching him contently positioned and snoring away, it’s almost possible to feel everything will be ok.  Even for me.

Captain Shnoodle. March 12, 2009. RIP

Yesterday,  Captain Schnoodle died in me.  I think it’s ok, because he’ll have an afterlife and maybe it’d be a better life.  Someway, somehow, someday, he’ll reincarnate himself.  And we’ll all be better for it.

Purpose

This is going to be such a ramble.  I take advantage of this rarely read environment posting whatever comes to mind.  I’m thinking that it might be time for a metamorphosis of some sort,  It might be time to blog differently,  rather than making it some sort of emotional outlet.   But why does one post ?  I also have severe case of blog-envy.  How great it is to have things to say and things others are interested in.  This sense of inadequacy, both in real life and in blogshere world, when am I ever going to be able to overcome ?  I need a sense of purpose, in what I am, in what I do and what I blog.

History

I’m posting on this historical day, well, because it is a historical day.  America now has our first ever Black President.  Significance seemingly focused on the FIRST and not how we got here.  Let me be a cynic.  I might be in the minority slightly annoyed by the everyone jumping on the band wagon mentality of this all.  As though this was something that we all collectively wanted.  Really ?  All these people now so proud to be  American.  So proud to be part of history.  So excited about…  I find myself to be coolly turned off by all this.  Similar to how totally negative I felt about  people gushing over how great China is during Olympic.  Really ?  Really ?   Are they that great ?  Why not love China through all the food poisoning and bullying ?  Why not be proud of America enough to contribute more ?  Are you not suppose to love a country even when it’s down, proud to be its citizen even when everyone seems not to be ?  I really cannot stand the shallowness and hypocrisy of this all.  We witnessed the history because we are part of the zeitgeist.  Not because we chose to.  What makes think you proud of just going with the flow ?  You are now proud to be an American… because, eh, you were ashamed of being one before and one man changed your mind ?

So, on this historical day, let me be the cantankerous lone American, unimpressed about all this hoopla. Yet hopeful that the country can be great again, under this first ever Black President.  Not because of his race or upbringing, but because he simply might be able to do it.